Surrender Experienced as Ease

I remind myself as I head into a few months of heavy travel of my ongoing lesson of learning to surrender. I’m a planner with every idea of how I expect my travel to be and my life to unfold. I expect airlines to transport me on schedule and on time so I can catch connecting flights. I expect menu items in foreign countries to be served the way I interpreted the menu. Of course none of these things happens often. More often than not travel goes awry and my plans get turned upside down. But travel is trivial. I’ve been fortunate to have only a couple of big life crises, way fewer than some people I know. Any of these events offer lessons to surrender.

I cannot control everything and there are times that I need to let go of my expectation. One day I’ll remember that it is my response to the event that causes me more suffering than the event itself. My pattern is to struggle against the disappointing event and to make it right. I argue to make the other person see my perspective and change course. I argue with the airline ticket agent even though he has no authority to find another plane. But because I have no control over these circumstances my only real course of action is to surrender. Only after I finally surrender my struggle do I finally find ease and peace. The outcome might not be what I wanted but in the end what will happen will happen. I may as long go with it and accept the outcome.

I find hip openers to be a great way to work with surrender on my mat and I hope that practice there helps me to surrender to life circumstances out of my control. Of course my dear yoga students practiced lots of hip openers last week because that is what was on my mind. For most people eka pada rajakapotasana (pigeon pose) is an excellent example of surrendering into the pose. In this deep hip opener people often tense the muscles around the hip and pelvis rather than relaxing them. In fighting against the pose they feel the challenge of the hip external rotation opposing hip internal rotators that are tight from sitting much of the day. People often feel themselves further opposing the pose by tensing through the jaw, lips, shoulders, and other muscles nowhere near the hips. This week we practiced exhaling away that tension. We tried to stay with the pose by surrendering into it, feeling length in the hip muscles and ease with the result. If that is an easy lesson then try it in double pigeon pose (knee to ankle pose)!

Perhaps posting this blog will help me to surrender to travel snafus. Who knows how well I’ll implement my own recommendations to stay present and find ease by surrendering to the circumstances. I know I will try. May each of you find ease and peace as you let go and surrender to the challenges the holiday season brings.

Take Nothing too Seriously

What better day than Halloween to remember to make time for play? We often get caught up with all the responsibilities we have with our many roles at home and work. Even on the yoga mat we tend to be serious as we are mindfully moving body with the breath. But we aren’t going to solve the world’s problems by holding a difficult pose for 10 breaths. The best we can do is to be present as we attempt every pose we practice. We need to laugh and be silly when it doesn’t quite turn out as we expected. So this week we are finding more playfulness in our practice. It’s difficult to move from ardha chandrasana (half moon pose) to parivrtta ardha chandrasana (revolved half moon pose) and back again. It’s easy to fall out and it’s ok to laugh when we do! There is no reason to get upset about losing balance during the difficult transition. In today’s classes I’ve invited students to try to let the breath lead them through the transitions, but to be playful when they fall out.

Playfulness may also help us explore new expressions of poses we haven’t tried before. We may be more likely to try to grab our toe in vasisthasana (side plank pose) if we approach it with more silliness. A silly attitude gives us permission to not get it “right” whereas when we approach the pose with complete seriousness we may not even try to get into a pose. We have no way of knowing if we can even do the more advanced pose unless we take the risk and give it a try. Sometimes a little silliness helps lighten our mood and just give it a try.

If yoga isn’t about silliness, it is about the process without regard to the outcome. Vrschikasana (scorpion pose) is a difficult inversion. It isn’t a pose anyone will get into and hold the first time she tries. Approaching it with all seriousness might inhibit us to try the pose in the first place whereas accepting the practice as a process releases us to let go of the outcome and have fun trying.

I’ve used today’s yoga classes as examples, but anyone can substitute this week’s life challenges in place of parivritta ardha chandrasana, vasisthasana, or vrschikasana. The only way to develop personally and professionally is to try something new, slightly scary perhaps. And to take that first step often means letting go of expected outcome and just be playful!

Happy Halloween!

Surrender to find Peace and Stillness

Life is full of beauty and joy. But it also is filled with challenge and struggle. This week I have invited my yoga students to find a still peace by surrendering their struggle. I’ve asked them to evoke an issue against which they have been struggling. It can be as great as grieving a loss of a job or loved one. It can be a crazy end of year schedule. It can be a personal characteristic such as striving for perfection or a need to be accepted. We all struggle and we all can benefit by surrendering.

Whatever the personal struggle, a decision to surrender can support a more peaceful state that puts us more at ease. This is a conscious effort to let go of the struggle. Yoga asana (poses) practice can help find this peaceful state and hip openers are just about the best category of poses to teach surrender. So that’s what we did. Ninety minutes of forward folds and hip openers from prasarita padottanasana (standing wide angle pose) and janu sirsasana (head to knee forward fold) to eka pada rajakapotasana (pigeon pose) and gomukhasana (cow face pose).

Gomukhasana is a particular struggle for most people. Sitting with one knee stacked on top of the other requires that the pelvis, hips, and groins open and relax. We prepared for this pose with the other hip openers, but settling into gomukhasana is usually a struggle even at the end of the practice. Many students feel the muscles around their hips and groins tighten, resisting the stretch. The resistance represents a struggle that prevents a sense of ease in the posture. By following a long, rhythmic breath, my students were able to find an easier stillness in the hips and groins and even a deeper expression of the pose as their hips released the resistance and relaxed. They learned on the mat that being present with the breath can melt the resistance, release the struggle, and create peace and stillness with each exhale.

Now their challenge is to bring this technique with them off the mat as they go back to their lives of love, loss, stress, and struggle. The tools they need are available to them – breathe deeply and rhythmically, surrendering the struggle. They just need to remain present with the struggle long enough to release it and find the peace and stillness.