Moving Beyond Duality

Goldilocks knew that things could be too hot or too cold but that something in the middle is just right! What was just right gave her a sense of contentment and comfort. Smart woman, that Goldilocks! Life is stressful in the extremes. People are quick to classify an experience, person, or thing as either good or bad. Either we like it or we dislike it. But really there is so much possibility in between the extremes. Yoga has taught me to find the gray zone of experiences and to acknowledge that things change. This awareness has given me more equanimity as I proceed through the day.

For instance, I reflect on things that I didn’t used to like. I didn’t like adho mukha svanasana (down dog pose) for the first several years that I practiced yoga and now I appreciate the feeling of expansion it gives me through my legs, trunk, and arms. Bakasana (crow pose) had been really difficult 20 years ago but now I find it and its variations easy. It is incredulous to me that I used to think I hated asparagus (thanks to the 1960’s canned variety served at our home) but now it is among my very favorite vegetables. None of these things changed, per se. Each of these things was always something in the middle – not hard, easy, likable or dislikable. What has changed is my perspective and my realization that everything is really on a continuum and always just right at some point in time.

I contemplate about what is a hard pose or an easy pose exactly? Isn’t it all relative to another pose? After working with ardha chandrasana (half moon pose) most students are relieved to return to parsvakonasana (side angle pose) although they had just struggled with that one before the balance pose! We often work with bakasana then parivrtta bakasana (revolved crow pose) and when we return to bakasana without the twist it seems just right - easier than it had before to everyone in the room.

I keep the studio temperature at 73-75 degrees for class. Is that hot or is that cold? Some students are a little chilled (as am I) when we begin class in a centering pose. But although the external temperature doesn’t change, most people are sweating after 30 minutes of standing poses. So was 74 degrees hot or cold? Can it be a temperature along a continuum that is just right to accommodate the practice?

I’ve invited students to find that just right state – not really tense and struggling but not really limp and disengaged – during our asana practice and to find that just right state of mind off the mat. Something along a continuum – not too extreme – seems just right and much easier to endure. Hopefully they will experience the same contentment and comfort that Goldilocks found when she found something not too hot, not too cold, but just right.

Yoga as Exploration

Yoga practice is much more than stretching and strengthening the body. If practiced with a sense of wonder and inquiry, yoga asanas (poses) can also help stretch and strengthen one’s mind and attitude. Expanding our sense of who we are requires a curiosity that can be cultivated on the mat and can stimulate our personal growth off the mat.

There is no one way to practice yoga. It is easy to discover different ways to move and reflect with so many types of yoga styles. I learned how to sequence asanas from one to the next by practicing ashtanga. I learned patience in staying in asanas by practicing Iyengar’s method. I learned how to be creative and playful by practicing vinyasa. I learned to be still by practicing restorative poses. No one of these styles serves me every day. I switch between the styles and use lessons from each at any given time – both on and off my mat.

Even within the same style, every instructor brings his or her own biases and backgrounds into a class and each studio offers different interpretations on what is yoga. The atmosphere can be more or less friendly and the music more or less soothing. Scents and colors of different studios also either draw me to or away from them. Sometimes I need more quiet. Those are the days I practice restorative poses and cancel my social engagements. Sometimes I need to challenge myself to extend past what I always do. That is when I seek out a different instructor or learn a new variation of a familiar asana.

I’ve challenged students to explore and discover something new in their practice. What happens if you stay in the pose a little longer; can it change the way the pose feels in the hips or the way your mind reacts? What happens if you change your gaze; does it feel different or provide a different perspective? What if you use a block or strap; does it change the expression of the asana? What if I change my verbal prompt; does it change your understanding of the pose? My intention is for students to learn more about their bodies, attitudes, and yoga practice. I invite them to continue this sense of discovery when they leave the studio and enter the real world.

Curiosity to learn more about our body’s movements and our mind’s attitudes helps us to do something slightly different. In our practice that might mean trying a new asana, teacher, or studio. Off the mat it might mean striking up a conversation with a stranger, entering a new vocation, seeing an issue from a different perspective, or trying a new ethnic cuisine. Curiosity supports our exploration that leads to new discovery. There is no such thing as success or failure in exploring something new and discovering something different about ourselves. Expanding our bodies and minds through exploration brings growth and that can only be a good thing.

Connectedness

I find comfort in remembering that all of us are connected to each other. It just feels good to think that each of us in the world has concerns, hopes, and dreams. Each of us wants to be loved and understood. We are all – the billions of us on this planet – are so much more alike than we are different.

But I can lose sight of this when I feel resistance, frustration, and anger. Where else does this happen more than at the airport. Yes, airport travel, when all my hard work on trying to be more open, loving, and mindful flies the coop. The TSA workers push my buttons, try my patience, and offer me the greatest opportunity to practice. I’m not often successful in being cool, calm, and collected there, though.

I know my practice is “working” however, because during my last TSA nightmare I was aware of losing my cool. I was able to take a deep breath and consider the TSA worker as just another person trying to navigate this world. I became witness to my building frustration and anger and replaced those feelings with a sense of interconnectedness with this person. I imagined that she was loved by someone and loved someone in return. She was likely struggling with some concern in her own life. Like me, she woke and showered and ate breakfast this morning. She looks forward to coming home to relax at the end of the day. She just needed to do this work to pay her bills and find some comfort in life.

As difficult as it was to find connectedness with this person, my enemy at the moment, I came to benefit from my new perspective. I felt the tension melt from my shoulders and jaw. I felt less restricted in my breathing. My own knots and difficulties were leaving me as I felt a more positive knot of oneness and connectedness. I softened internally and it was probably visible externally. She may have now perceived me less as an adversary and more at one with her as well.

I’m headed to the airport again next week. Hopefully I will recall last week’s experience and keep myself from being isolated from the people that seem separate from me. It will be another opportunity for me to recognize that the basis for my own anger and frustration is feeling separate and I can replace the negative feelings by feeling one with everything.

Observing multiple perspectives

Perspectives - every one of life's issues/ challenges/ problems/ miscommunications/ ... is multifacited with many different perspectives. Moving and contemplating mindfully helps us to reserve judgment and recognize some alternate perspectives we may not have considered when we move through life with our regular habits and biases. Perhaps we do not need to run but to stay. The glass might not be half empty but half full. The rumor we heard at the office may not have much truth when seen from another perspective. A problem that seems impossible to solve may be easier if we take off our blinders and look "outside the box" from another perspective.

In yoga practice, twists help to notice and acknowledge multiple perspectives. Revolved parsvokonasana (side angle), revolved bakasana (crow), revolved trikonasana (triangle), and a multitude of revolved poses and twists in sitting or laying down all help us to observe things from another viewpoint. Who knows, after an asana practice that includes lots of twists, a stroke of insight - an aha moment or an eureka moment - might follow us off the mat. That solution to the seemingly impossible to solve problem might just make itself available. All it took was considering an alternative perspective.